North Americans have chatting procedures. I understood, but never fully realized this until I taught low level students. For example, today's lesson was how to talk with friends or acquaintances. As an opening assessment and warm-up I asked the students (after brainstorming appropriate small talk topic, weather, family and job) to say hello, introduce one small talk topic and say good bye. This is how it went down:
Student 1: Hello.
Student 2: Hello.
Student 1: What's up?
Student 2: I am fine.
Student 1: How is my wife?
Student 2: She is fine.
Student 1: Good-bye.
Student 2: Bye.
The first thing I had to do was explain the wife thing before I wet myself.
"Okay. Great job. Just one problem. I heard, 'How was my wife?' Please change my.
"Yes. Very good. It should be your wife. Haha. Yes. If you say how is my wife, you might want to get a divorce! haha.
"Okay. Also, usually when someone asks 'How are you,' or 'What's up?' You should answer and then it's polite to ask back. For example, 'I am good. How are you?' or 'I am good. You?' By the way, I really liked how Jun said 'What's up.' That is very casual.
"Finally, when you say goodbye, it is polite to apologize and give a reason before saying bye or else it is too fast. You could also plan to meet or talk or email again."
So now I was passing on the mechanical script that I used to hate so much. The obligation of asking "How are you" back, even if you don't care, and the "We should get together" even when you have no intention to. If I tried to explain insincerity however I know I would have gotten blank stares.
