In their attempt to fatten me up, my parents have gone to the grocery store several times. Again I'm mortified because my shared fridge is a shoe box and yet they buy mountains of food (which probably looks strange -- maybe nasty) to my housemates and ram it into the fridge.
"Mom, you understand that this isn't my personal fridge right? I share it with 2 other housemates."
Her response was a chuckle.
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My parents not only think I am socially handicapped, but sometimes physically. For example this morning they crowded me as I was leaving the apartment. I had my bag in hand and was about to put on my jacket. My father quickly unburdened my hand by grabbing and holding my bag. My mom took a hold of my limp jacket sleeve and swung it around to better fit my opposing arm. It was like a young, energetic NASCAR support team changing tires except my parents are old and slow and they helped me put on my jacket. And instead of shouting "Go Go Go" afterwards, they said "Do you want a bannana? You should bring a bannana."
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When my parents arrived to my apartment it was about 9 am according to their jet lagged bodies. I was on my computer writing when I heard a noise from the washroom. When I went to investigate I found my mom sprawled on the washroom floor scrubbing my toilet and looking at me with a deer in headlights expression. I told her to go to bed. Fifteen minutes later she was in kitchen for round two.
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My mom is really scared of getting lost. Usually she takes her sweet time at everything. But now when we both use our respective public washrooms she beats me out her door as though she's afraid I would leave her if she didn't finish fast enough.
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Apparently my father sleepwalk pees. I was up at 1 am playing poker and out he came from my room. My housemate was pissing in the washroom at the time and my father walked in on him. They both exclaimed "oh" and my father backed off and waited. After my housemate left, he went in, did his business then slunk back to my room.
The next day I playfully teased him about walking in on my housemate pissing and he said, "What?"
