Tangled Green Thoughts

There is a mom-and-pops video store near where I work. The video store, in order to compete with Blockbuster, provides a lot of foreign films, indie films and has special promotions. Since I prefer foreign and indie films over Hollywood blockbusters, I inquired about their special promotion. The deal is, for 45 dollars a month (or 30 dollars a month if you commit to a three-month contract) you can rent as many movies in the month as you want with only two movies out at any given time.

When I signed up and paid 50 something after taxes, Chris, the owner, seemed quite pleased, stacking the bills in a tidy, blooming tower and smiling while his eyes flared a greedy green. However, now that he has seen me almost every day for two weeks, you'd think, from the expression he shows, I'm sticking jumbo pickles in his mouth and not renting movies.

HOLY SHIT this kid is really abusing my generous deal. He comes in here everyday and robs me of two movies that paying customers could be renting.

Every weekday after work, without fail, I make the five minute trek over to his store. I think he began to notice how steady my appearances were, so one day he made sure NOT to be in the store at that time. The store lights were on, but the door was locked without a "Be back in 10 minutes" sign. I pictured him crawling on fours, hiding behind the register, giggling and clutching his heaving belly. He probably bought one of those folding, protracting mirrors just so he could peep my expression.

Now I randomly go either before or after work. It totally screws with his anticipation.

He also has two employees. One time I came in and Mike, the employee, wouldn't let me rent the movies unless I gave him my credit card information, which I wasn't carrying. Mike is a hybrid of two guys from The Simpsons. He has the attitude of the comic book store guy and the appearance of the scientist guy.

"I need your credit card information."

"I gave it to Chris already."

"Look. All I know is the monitor is flashing for it."

"I've been renting everyday. You can look that up. I've had no problems with Chris or Lisa. Why would it be asking?"

" I need it or you can't rent."

Chris, before signing out the night before probably entered that in as a note. "Ask for credit card." He's like my video renting nemesis, but like in those Hollywood cat'n'mouse capers I disapprove of his motives, but totally respect his cunning. He's got some insane skillz. Like, if brought to a court of law, I couldn't prove any of this stuff. Maybe my ex-lawyer friend Ying could, but not me!

All archenemy stuff aside, the movies have been great. I've particularly enjoyed "Talk to her," and "Ichi the killer." "Talk to her," explores the border between love, devotion and creepiness, insanity. "Ichi the killer," makes Kill Bill a children's movie. They handed out barf bags at the Toronto Film Festival screening of it.