[journal]
Okay, so I've complained about the Poe people and the Chicken Noodle Soup people. But I'd sooner marry the whole lot than become chummy with a Crazy Cat person. These types come in, always alone, and look disoriented -- even the Crazy Cat regulars. Their hair is always frizzy and bed-sprayed and though there is no evidence that links them indefinitely to cats, they have this pungent cat aura that screams ownership of 15-20 strays, purring, rubbing, meowing, stretching.
There's little variance between Crazy Cat people. The new ones however always ask this and that, this and that, this and that and after five minutes of me explaining/defending the type of tofu we use and why we put lettuce in the vermicelli they won't order any of the items they inquired about. They'll say something like, "I'll try that another day." The regulars order right away, but ambigiously.
All it took today to darken my otherwise cheerful day was for a Crazy Cat Lady to walk in.
"I'll have, say, that, hmmm.... (pained looks as though she's recalling rocket science) the vegetarian dish."
"The veggie stir-fry," I retitled in order to whittle down the ambiguity of vegetarian dish (we have lots of vegatarian dishes). "Did you want that on rice or vermicelli?"
Crazy Cat Ladies like saying no before they say yes.
"No. I don't want it on those."
"We only serve it on those."
"Vermicelli? Fine, I'll have it on vermicelli and your veggie roll." She said fine like I was twisting her arm or dangling a cat out a window sil.
"Veggie stir-fry on vermicelli and a veggie summer roll, you said?" again I repeated her order because I knew somehow it would be wrong.
"Yes."
I told her there's tofu in it because otherwise she'll exclaim, "There's tofu in the veggie roll?"
She nodded.
I then went over to Brian and tell him that this Crazy Cat Lady is a Crazy Cat Lady (CCL) and not to be surprised if I got her order wrong.
I got the order wrong.
She wanted the deep fried vegetarian spring roll, which never has tofu in it and that's why I asked if she wanted the one with tofu in it.... Luckily for me I didn't bring out the order to her. Unfortunately for Brian, he did.
"What's this? I don't want this."
"It's your veggie summer rolls."
She shooed the dish away from her.
"I didn't order it. I'm not eating it. I wanted the deep fried ones."
"Those don't come in Tofu."
"That's the one I wanted. It's not my fault."
"He asked you if you wanted the one with tofu."
"He doesn't speak English good. He doesn't know how to talk." (Okay I don't really know if she said "well" or "good" but my money 's on good)
"He has a Masters in Literature." (Haha Brian is awesome! I have a Masters in Education, but damn, that was a wickedly timed lie)
"He doesn't know how to talk. I'm not eating it. He doesn't speak English good."
Brian got her a new replacement, free of charge and she didn't say thank-you or anything. All she did was stuff it in her CCL mouth and left a CCL mess and walked out in a CCL huff.
Damn CCLs.
