Saturday, January 29
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No Rest For Joe

Any time now, I will start working and never stop until I'm 60, so I figured I may as well relax, no rush, before I get started on applying for September teaching positions. I was rudely awakened from my peaceful slumber with the recent knowledge that they are doing interviews now for the September positions. So today I had to get my ass into gear and rework my resume and create a cover letter. I also have to pay 350 for the application process. That's what I call a scam.
Tuesday, January 25
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Memory Not So Great

I had a conversation with my sister recently about the fickle nature of memory, memory's convienent habit of remembering select things. This is especially true of one's memory of meaningful past relationships. What tends to happen, in my experience, is all the ill thoughts and the annoying habits of the other person tend to fade to oblivion and what's left are all the good, sweet memories and you ask the question, "Why did we break up again?" But then you pinch yourself on the buttock and remind yourself that things weren't all peachy and the ill thoughts come flooding back. Now the comment is "Oh ya," and you get a little stubble of anger and everything makes sense until more time passes and you forget again and ask "Why did we break up again?"
Friday, January 21
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This is Who I am

The past few months has taught me two important things about women and dating:

1. Holding back won't save you hurt

In previous relationships, I let my emotions and romance pour out; the relationships didn't work and I was hurt badly. I falsely assumed that if I held back in my next relationship -- act cool, conceal emotions, suppress tenderness -- then if something bad were to happen, then I wouldn't be hurt. Truth is, I was hurt just as much. As often as I hear it, I should have been myself.

2. Sleeping with another girl won't make you feel better

Even if the girl is good looking or friendly or smart, you won't feel better unless you really feel something for this new girl or gotten over the previous (maybe I'm alone in this).

The girl who I regret about from number (1) thinks I'm bitter about the past and I don't let things go. (For those who are worried about me) I have let her go, but it's a shame I didn't treat her the way she deserved to be treated, with warmth, selflessness, and understanding. Maybe things would have gone well, maybe not well, but at least I could say I was me, this is who I am. Instead of having a break up that wasn't the real me.

So as a belated New Year's resolution, the next wonderful girl that comes into my life will receive all my sunshine and none of my rain. Amen.
Natalie Portman

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