Friday, April 30
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You People
[journal] It never ceases to amaze me the search words people use to find my site. One search term that consistently draws people to my site is the word "woman" and "swallow." Number two would have to be all those damn people who are interested in "snot fetish." Okay and who's the stalking pscyho that keeps typing my sister's full name "Karen *insert last name*" using Yahoo search? Recently they spiced it up by adding "+ Joe + Minho"
And how the heck did an "Asian Shitting Porn" search phrase get linked to my page?
This last one freaked me out. My website had a post that was talking about what I would do with all my money if I ever won the lottery. The post included a sentence that said "Take a trip to Japan with Karen and let her buy all the shoes she can fit in a suitcase." Do you think the person wrote "Japan + Shoes + Suitcase?" Heck no. To find my page they searched for "she can fit in a suitcase."
I can imagine a few choice reasons why they would be searching for that, but would you really want to read it?
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Its Like Rain On Your Wedding Day
[journal] My dad gets a lot of promotional stuff because he's a family doctor. He'll get the Advil notepad or the Tylenol highlighter or some lesser known brand and *insert stationary here.* The other day I was using a Viagra pen of his, and I thought they had better damn be sure of the quality of the pen when it's clearly phallic in nature. There I was thrusting away back and fourth, to and fro when the damn pen gave out on me! It wouldn't even leak out a little bit ink for me. Now if that isn't irony, I'll have to go ask Alanis Morisette what is.
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Sunday, April 25
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Pump You Up
[journal]
I've been neglecting my duties as a blogger lately. As I said, it was the discovery of my entire family and bagel knowing about it (thanks Dora haha). It's like trying to play the violin with one arm or the piano with two fingers. Besides, shouldn't families have honest open communication? Every millimeter of my body aches right now. In addition to eating more I've been trying to workout. Underline the word trying because I go to these gyms with my lankly arms and I'm pumping these playschool weights that look like water bottles. My face though makes it look like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my back, a la Atlas. I look over and I see butch and non-butch women lifting two or three times as much. There was this one girl who really likes my friend. A very large southern belle who's like half my height but twice my weight. She came plodding over, "Oh, let's see if I can do as much as Joe," she said it exactly like that. She sat in the machine and her legs pumped away like she's swatting flies with her legs. "This is easy. This is like nothing." I wanted to say, "Well my legs are like nothing compared to yours." Though she was half my height and twice my weight, her legs are like three times mine. My friend defended me and said, "Well, it's the first time he's ever done his legs." Word. |
Monday, April 19
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Whad Up?
[journal] Today our microwave broke so we had to get it fixed at someone's house. This someone happened to be a 50-something old man still living at home with his parents. Oh-mercy, I'll hold my tongue.
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Worlds Colliding
[journal] I know I haven't been posting as much as before, or even when I do it hasn't been as interesting, but when you realize that your whole family knows about your blog including your brothers and parents, it sort of kicks the snot out of you. How am I supposed to write about anything juicy when I know my mother's prying eyes grace the pages. How can I make fun of everything, tell the truth or speak my mind? Parents and family aren't supposed to know anything about me. They only should know when I eat and sleep. Worlds have collided, and it feels a little too awkward. Anyways, how the hell did everyone find out?
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Friday, April 16
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What Apprentice Are You?
[journal]
I turned out to be most like Troy. I'm satisfied and pleased with that. The good thing about Troy was that he had everything going for him but only had a highschool diploma. I have a lot more than that so maybe I should be an apprentice. Actually I would need to work on a lot of things he has that I don't: confidence, public speaking skills and negotiation skills. Click HERE to go to the quiz. |
Tuesday, April 13
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Joe Fall 2005
[journal]
I got my hands on the floorplan of the condo I may move into fall of next year. It's pretty sweet. The master bedroom has its own washroom! The balcony will be facing the lake, and my room faces Skydome. The thing that I was relieved about was that it comes fully equipped with 5-6 appliances, so I don't have to buy a fridge, washer, dryer, microwave, fridge and dishwasher. That'll save me a lot of money that can go into rent. I think it'll be done sometime in fall, likely October. So, hopefully I will save a bit of money by then. Click HERE for the floorplan. It's part of the CityPlace condos. |
Sunday, April 11
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Life as it is
[journal] Not much news going on in my life. I'm on spring break right now but my teachers decided to lay on the homework because of that. When I get back to school on Wednesday, I have something due for all six classes.
My family has things going on. I think Mike is depressed because his girlfriend has been in Hong Kong for months now. Brian walks around the house like a living zombie; he works almost everyday for 12 hours. Karen's doing well. She just had like a hair cutting orgie and cut like five friend's hair in one day. She'll also be heading to Berlin soon to study either music or third year German. My parents are preparing for my mom's birthday this month even though it's next month. She's leaving soon to visit my grandma, but she can't miss a chance to throw a party, so it's happening soon.
I'm still burnt out from school but I think the Masters program will be a different kind of school. I think I'll be more independent. I think I'll have projects and just have to meet with professors only sometimes. I'd much rather be on my own. I think I learn better that way.
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Friday, April 9
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World of Geek
[journal]
I've been waiting for close to a year for a game called World of Warcraft. It's a role playing game in a persistent online world. People get so addicted and immersed in these games that they forget about real life. I played one called Final Fantasy Online and everytime you log on it says something like Thank you for playing our wonderful game. However, do not forget to go outside, meet with friends and eat.Yah, people get so addicted to these games that they don't eat or sleep. Some have even died. Anyways, I can't wait for that to be me. I've even joined a clan (team/group) already and we've set up a webpage. HERE it is. |
Wednesday, April 7
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You Can Pretend to be Serious; You Can't Pretend to be Witty
[journal] I've been asking people lately what their first impression of me was. The answers were scattered; I've been a lot of things. The one thing they always add at the end is "But I never thought you would be as witty as you are." For awhile I was unhappy about this. Why could I be everything from quiet to talkative, from dumb to intelligent, but I couldn't be witty? Why don't they see that I'm witty? After I gave this serious on the toilet thought, I realized, would I really want to look like someone who was witty? I bet you someone who looks witty looks fucked up. They'd have a little bit of a nerd look. They'd have sly eyes and a high society snarl. They'd probably even end up looking a little ironic. Would you want to look ironic? Who the hell would want to look witty then? Do you think this guy looks witty? I'm helluva glad I'm not witty looking. |
Tuesday, April 6
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King and King
[link]
I personally see nothing wrong with reading to grade one students a book about homosexuality, but I probably wouldn't do it myself. As a teacher I'll have enough irrate parents on my case for this reason or that. Here's the LINK. |
Sunday, April 4
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Mother Sloth
[journal]
If I can sit and watch my mom try to double click icons for five minutes, I can teach and educate any student. Tutoring my mom how to use the computer has been the ultimate test in patience and restraint (a lot of counting to five in my head). Sometimes I feel like ripping the keyboard from its place and smashing it on the ground, but instead I sit there beside her and slowly tell her, with an angry quiver in my voice, that she needs to open Microsoft Word to write documents, and close Internet Explorer (she would try to open Word documents while in Explorer).
One time I nearly went insane when she tried to double click to get in a folder. Two things you need to know:
1. You can get in a folder by a quick double click or a single click plus enter
2. If you double click too slow the folder will flash blue and you can rename it
So my mom knows both the double click and single click + enter methods of going into a folder, but doesn't know about the renaming. So there she was double clicking to get in. She did it too slow so it switched to rename mode. She then thought to herself (since it looked blue and highlighted) that a single click would do it. But that just verifies that you want to keep the name the same. So she was back to square one. Then she tried the double click again but was again too slow so she tried hitting enter again (square one). She looked at me with that "Wtf? There's something wack about this computer" face, like it wasn't her fault. So she then tried to double click again. Again too slow, so again in renaming mode. Keep this merry thought in your mind while envisioning the scene: My mom's speed is that of a three-toed-sloth tranqualized. At this point it was either me pulling out some of my hair or grabbing the mouse from her and hitting enter two times, which I did. At any point if she double clicked quickly enough, hit enter two times, or single clicked and hit enter, she would have been in, but she instead continued the infinite cycle of Joe frustration.
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Friday, April 2
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The Greatest Gamer of All Time
[link]
If you really know me, then you know I'm a gamer in every respect of the word. I love to play video games. I play them for fun and, like what this post is about, I play them competitively. There is a poll up on a popular gaming site that is trying to decide the greatest gamer of all time. I thought many of you would find this hilarious that some people play video games for a living so I decided to post and link it. And others like to make fun of the gaming freaks. Take for example Billy Mitchell, "Mr. Pac-Man." In response to his obsession and greatness in playing Pac-Man he had to say: I understand the behavior of the ghosts and am able to manipulate the ghosts into any corner of the board I choose. This allows me to clear the screen with no patterns. This was a more difficult method for the initial 18 screens. I chose to do it this way because I wanted to demonstrate the depths of my abilities. I wanted to raise the bar higher - to a level that no one else could match.This freak also apparently reached a Nirvana state when in 1999, after 19 years of compulsive playing, he played the perfect game. In other words he got through 256 stages of Pac-Man eating every single blue ghost and getting every single bonus prize. The other 15 contestants in the poll for best gamer are unfortunately familiar to me. I recognize most of their names and even played against one of them. Just to let you know that after you ha-ha them for the fact that they will forever remain virgins, these guys probably make 70-90 thousand American a year and Boxer has a fan club with 100,000 members who worship him in Korea (competitve gaming there is as popular as any other sport). Check HERE for the brackets and more info. |
Thursday, April 1
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Gmail
[link]
Do you use Hotmail or Yahoo for your emailing needs? Do you find yourself constantly deleting emails to stay under the storage limit? Well that will soon no longer be a problem when the biggest player in search engines, Google, begins offering email. Hotmail gives you a measly 2 MB of story, Yahoo 4 MB. Google will give you 1 GB. That means this could be your email service for life. One gig would be like half a million emails give or take, so you can keep and reread all your emails you will ever get (they'll have search tools). Read more about it from CNET or Google's press release. |
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