Tuesday, March 30
_________________________
Happy Birthday
[journal]
My brother Brian just turned 31. I don't know how he got so old so fast. It's a funny thing living at home. It takes years off your age. You don't really realize how old everyone is when you're encapsulated in the same environment you were in since birth.
My five years away from home was the happiest time in my life and I felt that I had grown a lot from it. When you're at home it's difficult to make worlds. You're rooted to be one sort of personality and it's hard to grow and find yourself. When I look around at my family I see very little change. The changes that have happened is because of being outside the home. My sister's confidence in herself has been because of work and Minho. Mike's emotional understanding has come in part by Patsy. Brian's withdrawal has been because of Nina. I mean if you want to be the exact replica of yourself ten years from now, by all means stay at home. But I think life is a lot about change otherwise I don't see the point of growing older. |
Monday, March 29
_________________________
York Dork
[journal] I'm at York University with a few hours to kill. I wasn't sure what to do but I remembered some dude with his laptop surfing the internet on campus so I brought mine out and checked to see if they had a wireless network. Lo and behold they did. I had to call my sister for her York username and password, but after that I was or am free to surf anywhere in their main building. It's pretty sweet.
Time to go look at porn or something... |
Saturday, March 27
_________________________
Hello Terrorist
[journal]
I got refused from the border today because I -- in a bout of stupidity and incompetence -- forgot my documents at my friend's house. I realized this as the icy hand of death clutched my heart ten minutes away from the border. I was in the undesirable position of heading into certain doom without the means to stop it. Basically I knew customs was going to eat me up, considering how bitchy they are even when I have all my documents in order.
When we got to our guard we passed all the student paperwork for my carmates and then we passed my driver license up for myself.
"Who's this?" he asked, holding up my card.
"That's me."
"Where were you born?"
"Canada." I lied because I thought that it would just simplify things. Anyone from Vietnam would surely be a terrorist.
"Speak up, I can't hear you." I really did say it quietly though. I was shitting in terror.
"C-c-c-anada."
"Where are you guys going?"
". We go once a week and rez there."
He did that whole I can't hear you act a few times before he said, "Pull into customs two."
When we got to customs two we were drilled again. This time by a lady. She was so laid back that I thought things were going to be okay. They pulled my school file on their computers. I thought I was safe, but her indifference was just a red herring.
They asked for the driver and split us to check his car. After he came back they questioned him then sat him to dry. A different guy then questioned my friend and I and he sent her on her way.
"You need your I-20. You can't go in without it," he said to me.
"What if we called someone at the school to confirm?"
"You need your I-20. You can't go in without it," he repeated, slightly disturbed that I was still even considering a loop hole.
"So do people like me happen a lot?"
"All the time." He let out this long breath of air, like it extraordinarily taxing to tell me that.
He then proceeded to take my fingerprints and took a picture of me like I was some kind of criminal. I was wondering why they had to do this and simply not just turn me away. I was thinking I probably have the right to refuse unless they were going to charge me with something, but I decided that 1. I'm a chicken-shit and 2. what's the harm in them having my finger prints? I tried to give it one last shot and play the pity angle: "I can't make my friends drive back home then here for four hours (it was 1 am already), I'm going to have to get a hotel room here while they go to school and they can pick me up when they're done two days from now."
"Aren't you going to miss a lot of classes?"
He seemed a little concerned. I should have milked it and told him I just might fail a course, but then my penchant for telling the truth got to me: "No, I'm really on top of things. I should be fine." He finished his work and told me, "Just remember to bring your I-20. You have to." He seemed nicer when he repeated it this time.
Finally after that they wouldn't give me driver's license back. They did hand me this. We then had to be escorted -- them on foot, us in the car -- to the border, going at 10 kmph. We had to pay $3.50 toll and then on the other side of the border they handed me back my driver's license. |
Friday, March 26
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The Stinky Cheese Speech
[journal]
School is almost done and I just know that the ending is going to be anti-climatic, a huge let down. I spent almost a year slaving away with these people. Every week, in only two days, we had six classes and drove four hours. During our time someone got married. Someone lost a relative in an accident. Someone found out that they had been pregnant for five months. I got pissed drunk and puked on my pants so I had to do a presentation in my pajamas. I had a huge allergic reaction and had to visit the hospital. I got turned away from the border because I could have been a threat to national security (my next post). But when the last class comes there will be no graduation, no party, not anything.
I decided it would be a good idea to write a speech to have closure to the class. I thought it would be so easy considering all the things we've gone through, but I was wrong. All I could come up with was sentimental shit. I really thought I could add humour to the speech but I disappointed myself with cliches and blah blah blah. I still have a few weeks left so I hope I can revise some life into it by then. While I was writing it I realized that by doing this I self-elected myself as valedictorian. I think my head is getting too big. |
Tuesday, March 23
_________________________
The card that went on and on and on
[journal]
There is this freakish musical anniversary card that has been playing outside in the garbage can for the past few days. It's one of those cards that turn on when you open it up, only difference is this one is on all the time. The first time I noticed it with my sister, she smashed it with her foot and it stopped playing music. Later on at night I was watching TV, it came alive again. I had to put on my jacket to go outside and stomp on it with both my feet repeatedly. I was sure I stopped it for good. I was sure it was dead.
The very next morning when I went outside it was still playing. The sound was all warped and the song was unrecognizable, but it was still playing its annoying tune. I decided to ignore it. Days passed and I was trying to watch a movie inside the house and now the card had come back at full strength, blasting its song, as if time helped it recover its strength. I went outside and tried to smash it with a shovel but it wouldn't shut up, so I threw it as far away as I could. Anyways, I told my sister that if mankind could somehow harness the power of that card we could solve the world's energy crisis. If it has that much conviction to play its stupid song, I say go ahead.
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Sunday, March 21
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
[journal]
First, Charlie Kaufman is a creative genius. If IQ was based on ingenuity, Kaufman would be off the radar. He consistently comes up with these completely unique screenplays as if he were simply just letting off gas or buying cereal. The movie's premise is about love. The two main characters follow the basic boy-girl romance; the rollercoaster of dating. We are invited to see their very first introductions, and through their hundreds of good memories and bad. It's with the last bad memory that the girl, played by Kate Winslet, whimsically decides that she's had enough of him and all the love/hate bullshit and takes on a procedure that removes him from her memory. When he next sees her she doesn't know who he is and apparently that makes it easier for her to move on. The man, played by Jim Carrey, decides that he should do the procedure also because she's completely moved on and he's an emotional wreck. The tension comes when as he's erasing his memory of her, going through from the bad to the good, he suddenly panics because he realizes that he doesn't want to lose his memories; he loves her too much. I won't spoil the movie by saying much more, but the movie implies that the bond people share goes deeper than purely the memories they have of each other. My teacher explained to the class an interesting area of physics called field physics. He started explaining the Hawthorne (or observer) effect. The act of being watched changes the way people behave. That's obvious. What isn't obvious is how peoples' behaviours change when they are being watched even if they aren't aware of being watched. It's an unexplained phenomenon. He said that the closest explanation comes from field physics. It gets down to the nitty gritty arena of molecules and atoms. It purports that the presence of other atoms in the field of atoms make changes to its composition. That means if a camera was placed in a room secretly, it would still have an effect on the field of atoms immediately surrounding it, which would then have an effect on the next field of atoms and so on like a ripple effect until it reached the subject who would behave differently. Now how this connects with the movie: I think that's how love works, or maybe what we call chemistry. That butterflies feeling or "connection" you feel with someone is simply your atoms getting out of whack because their atoms have a particular affect on you. No one can study atoms because we need light to observe, and light disrupts atoms, but I would put my money that not atoms are the same and that certain atoms have an affinity or idiosyncrasies towards others. You can wipe out memories, never have met a person before, heard bad shit about them, but if they have matching atoms, you can't help but love them. And I think the closest thing to an instrument that measures this sort of thing is that gut level feeling you have about people. Now all I have to do is go out and find that girl who really disrupts my molecular make-up and makes my guts feel funny, sounds easy enough. |
Saturday, March 20
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Kryptonite
[journal]
School is taking the life out of me. I'm so tired of the monotony, the lectures, the god-damn dribble. I need to sleep nine-hours a day just to give myself the energy to make it and take it. When I'm there I try so hard to pay attention. I really do. The professors are so nice and talented. But in my state, even the shining example of a teacher I have talked about has made my mind meander.
I've tried things. I've sat in new places with different people. I've talked to people I usually don't talk to often. I've brought food. I've sat in peculiar positions. But no matter what I do, I wish not to be there. My parents, wonderful but clueless, don't understand my need for change and challenge. They think a Ph.D would do me good. They've forstalled all the asian-girl-hook-up talks for now and are currently championing me to take yet more school after the school I've yet to finish.
Ich hasse Schule!
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Tuesday, March 16
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Reality Shows Part 2
[journal]
Now this is a show I would watch! |
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Reality Shows
[email]
Reality television shows are getting so bad that I'm sure this joke isn't too far from network boardroom discussions. |
Monday, March 15
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Another Cliff story
[journal]
I went out for dinner with Cliff, my sister and friends. Cliff is somewhat unfamiliar with ethnic foods. He's more your meat and potatoes sort of guy. Nevertheless, we somehow always sucker him to eating at places he would not normally eat at. I guess it's our retribution for all those horrible Dutch dropjes he dared us to try. This time our weapon of choice was Indian food. The first bit of comedy came when he asked the waitress, with suspicion in his voice, "When it writes herbs and spices, what does that exactly mean?" Later, we all had a good laugh when she asked him if he wanted it mild, medium or hot. However, the highlight of the night came when his meal actually came and she placed down his small plate (a heavily seasoned rice and beef dish) and an empty large plate. After she left he asked us, "Why the hell do I have two plates? Am I supposed to transfer the rice to that one then eat it? Why can't I just eat out of the first one?" He was still shooting off his plethora of questions when the waitress returned so we started to chant, "Ask her! Ask her!" The waitress heard us chanting and patiently stood over behind him. He didn't really want to ask but with the chanting and her waiting, he had very little choice. So Cliff -- looking a little naive and embarrassed -- cocked his head towards her and asked, "What exactly am I supposed to do with this?" The waitress looked a little confused. But after a moment, almost like she was talking to a toddler, she simply said "You eat it." I don't know if it was one of those you had to be there moments, but we couldn't stop laughing. |
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Computer Use
[journal]I wasn't aware of how prevalent computer use is in Canada. I scanned this from the Sunday Toronto Star. |
Friday, March 12
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In Today, Out Tomorrow
[journal]
My sister lusts for shoes. She'll spend hours on the internet looking at shoes of this kind and that, probably fantasizing about them on her feet, dreaming about them in her dreams. Well, we all have our obsessions and mine is not any better. For months and months now, I've been itching to get my greedy fingers on a Sony ux50. Sometimes a professors lecture will be so boring I'll pretend he or she is giving me the specs on it instead: "It's got a built in camera, voice recorder and video play back. It's in a clamshell design and has a full colour and keyboard." It'll be nice to look back on this five years from now when the technology is so outdated that the ux50s will be used for doorstops. |
Thursday, March 11
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Hip to the Hop
[journal] One class to go until I make the carpool ride back home. Giovanni would be most happy if we listened to Enya, Dido and Sarah. I'm thinking DJ Shadow, Lady Tron, or any Classical. Luigi wants Metallica and anything else hard. So we end up listening to Hip Hop. It's not the musical synergy you would expect, but no one seems to mind or question. We have even chosen "our" song, and it's sort of an anthem to remember our time at this school together. It's by Mario and P.Diddy called I don't wanna know. |
Tuesday, March 9
_________________________
Smoke and Birrors (Beers + Mirrors)
[commentary]
By this summer Toronto public places including bars and clubs will be completely smoke-free. As a non-smoker I thank the health commissioner for thinking of people like me, but I can't help but feel the injustice of it. If we are to be mulicultural about race, multichallenged about disability and multisexual about preference, why are we being so discriminant about smoking? The health commissioner argues that he is not taking away a smoker's right to smoke (because they are still free to smoke outside and in their homes), only a smoker's right to harm others. But his is a mere health perspective, failing to account the business or freedom perspectives.
Many bars in the past year have put thousands of dollars into ventilation units that now are worth nothing. Most of these bars have smoking clientele who need a social space to enjoy their toxic habit. Banning smoking will be bad for their business and the general economy. People will inevitably find other means and areas to smoke that won't involve pumping cash into small Canadian businesses. Who is the health commissioner to tell grown adults, smokers and non-smokers, that they don't have the right to do something to themselves if they choose to? I agree that smokers don't have the right to hurt others, but what if 1. The others don't care? 2. The others accepted that a bar fundamentally has smoke? By not letting a bar owner choose to have a smoking or non-smoking environment, in essence, the commissioner is saying that the adults in this city can't make informed decisions, and we need government intervention to baby our actions. I would even go so far to say if a like-minded group of individuals decided to open up a place where they pummel each other a-la-fightclub, they should be allowed to do so.
A bar owner, as an adult, should have the right to make a bar that let's people smoke in it, and people should have a right to choose to go or not to go. Maybe I'll start nonsense ruckus about how clubs have music too loud, and it's a health hazard to my hearing. I'll say, "Sure you have a right to blow your eardrums off at the privacy of your own home, but at a public place you shouldn't have the right to damage my eardrums." Let's see how well clubs do with music at library volume. Let's see how fundamental loud music is to a club and then understand how fundamental smoking is to a bar.
PS I mainly have a problem with bars. I think the health commissioner has a strong point if you're talking about restaurants.
|
Monday, March 8
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The Singhsons
[link]
A funny spoof about the Simpsons if they existed in a different country. Make sure you turn on your speakers. Click HERE. |
Sunday, March 7
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Boys Will Be Boys
[forward]
I just realized another thing about boys, specifically myself. I forgot that March 3rd was the one year anniversary of this website. Sorry about that Ms. Website. I'll make it up to you by taking you out for dinner or buying some ridiciously high priced piece of jewelery. |
Saturday, March 6
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Frat Pack
[journal]
I am now part of Pi Lamda Theta or some other equally lame mathematical jargon of a title. The fact is, I am now part of a nerd fraternity, and I feel so American. From deductive reasoning, I think one of my teacher's nominated me to this honor's society, because I asked a few other people (who've done well) and they didn't get the invitation. It felt pretty nice to have a teacher think kindly of you. In fact one teacher this term already knew about me before I met him. I think I've come a long way from my undergraduate years when I thought teachers were cold blooded, unapproachable, vanity freaks.
UPDATE: I found out that they have a website, and after digging around, I read that you do have to be nominated by your school. I believe I'm part of the Direct Honors Program because my school doesn't have a chapter on campus. Also, now that I've linked to their site (giving them access to my site) I better include that I don't think this fraternity is nerdy or lame or anything. This is like the best thing that has ever happened to me! Yippee! (am I digging a hole?) Honestly, I wouldn't have joined if I didn't think it was a good thing to be part of. |
Thursday, March 4
_________________________
Joe Was Owned!
[journal]
I was at Dominion earlier today buying gravy sauce when I heard shouting, giggles and the sound of things being knocked over. I looked over to see two fucked up girls abusing a styrofoam cut-out of Sponge Bob Square Pants. They were slapping his face and throwing him on the ground. I took a detour away from them, but later I was forced in their direction again. The nuttier of the two girls -- a small, long brown haired Gina -- looked straight at me with complete recognition and shouted "Oh my god Marz how's it going? Come over here." Just out of curiousity I went over. She turned to me and said "It was so weird Marz...."
I cut her off by asking, "Do you really know who I am?" because -- well -- my name is actually not Marz.
"Of course I do Marz. Anyways, it was like sooo weird because I thought I saw your mom over there. Or was I wrong?" At this point I'm totally freaking because I was indeed grocery shopping with my mom and the reason why I had to go back to them was I couldn't find her anywhere else. She continued with "Anyways, do you think I should buy Elmere?" and picked up Sponge Bob Square Pants.
"What are you on? Seriously."
She laughed at the absurdity of the question: "I'm on the ground silly."
"Of course. How silly of me," I said then walked off. When I was sort of far away she shouted, really loudly, "She-Bangs!" Damn, she owned me good. First with the witty, I'm on the ground comment, then the She-Bangs reference. I got owned by a druggie without any witty comebacks. Of course two minutes later I thought of a hundred cool things I could have said, but much good that did for me.
|
Wednesday, March 3
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Hair Here
[site update] 
Fei and Dot are up. Go check it out HERE. UPDATE: Karen is just too damn fast. She put up another cut she did. Check out Allison. She also recently gave me a haircut so that may come up sometime in the near future.
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Tuesday, March 2
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Photo-Tops
[journal]
I've just realized the miracle that is Photoshop. If you combine a scanner and Photoshop, miracles happen. Take for example a 22 year old picture I scanned for my parents and then the photo editing I did to it. Afterwards I just print out the edited picture on glossy photo paper and we have a new 22 year old picture. I can go into all the nerd details of exactly what I did (healing brushes, contrast alignment, tonal correction etc...) but I'll just let the pictures do the talking.
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Monday, March 1
_________________________
Karen's Cuts
[site update]
Karen's got two more cuts up from the last time I posted about this: Thea and Leanne. Click HERE. |
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