I'm pretty good with telemarketers. I'm pretty good at saying no. But they always find new ways to entrap me. So I guess that makes me no good in actuality.
Take a few years ago. It was no mere man solicitating me. No, he had to be a blind man. God dammit. Everyone in the newspaper office scattered like mice into their cubbyholes pretending to be busy working on things, typing away nosensical words but watching this angry looking blind dude stroll around wacking things with his stick. I was the only brave---maybe stupid---soul lounging on the couch because I had finished my section. The blind guy zeroed in on me like he knew I was a sucker. "Where am I?!" he demanded.
"You're at the Silhouette office."
"Have a seat," he ordered, like he was some kind of boss (remember, I was already sitting down). He passed me a sheet of written propaganda and asked me to read it out loud.
I said, "You mean this part at the top?"
"I'm blind. I can't see!" he said. Like I was stupid, or to make me feel more guilty. He was so angry at being blind. I knew he couldn't see. I just assumed he's been doing this schtick for quite some time and knew where the words were located on his crummy paper.
Basically it was some self righteous spiel talking about how we should
STOP VIOLENCE! and some kindergarten operation hoping to do something about it. He could have been peddling pig ears and I still would have bought it. I ended up buying the ugliest t-shirt in the word for 20 dollars. The entire office was behind me watching me suffer through his guilt attack and seeing me cave in to the t-shirt. They were all laughing, but that dry, quiet, shoulders gyrating laugh so the blind guy couldn't hear them. Bastards.
Well today someone did it by phone. Much easier to say no to right? Wrong. The guy said he worked in association with the Toronto Police department. Damn. Then he started talking about an event going on at Canada's Wonderland to help stop
gang communities. They would have off-duty police officers mingling with children and show police in a good light and help get relations better. He asked for 20 dollars to support a family to attend the event. I said I am nothing but a poor student with bills myself. Then the sonuvabitch cut it down to 10 dollars. How can you say no to someone who's asking for only 10 dollars to stop gang violence? I asked if he wanted me to send a check out (because there was no way I was going to send a check out to some guy on the telephone even if it was addressed to the Toronto Police Department). He said that he would send me the information package. No harm in that right? Then he kept calling me
David all the time like he knew me and we were suddenly chums sharing a pint of beer. We said our good-byes.
Well I guess caving in twice in five years isn't that bad and besides the information package is going to be addressed to David. Sucker.
