Sunday, February 29
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Have a Bagel
[site update]
I updated the ABOUT ME section with an introduction to my dog Bagel. Pictures don't do this dog justice! |
Saturday, February 28
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Sprout
[journal] Brian hit his high on Friday with more than 70 customers. I'm so happy that he's doing well. For the hell of it and mainly because we just bought a scanner today, HERE is what his menu looks like.
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Friday, February 27
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Unrealistic Expectations
[commentary]
I was talking to a friend last week about her boy problems and eventually came to the conclusion that she had these unrealistic fairytale expectations of men. The kind of men you see in romantic comedies that are bumbling over their tremendous wealth of love and attention they have for the girl. These men treat women as goddesses and every intention as well as action is a good one. The very second I thought how impossible it was for men to live up to these guys I realized that I have the same impossible expectations for women, albeit of a different vein. My libido has been ramrodded into desiring unrealistic looking women. Women who number fewer than children with ADHD and women who probably don't even really look like what they look like. I'm not talking about boob implants because I am 100 percent against that. I'm talking about enhancements by make-up, lighting, photo-editing etc.... Basically where women are loving these emotional fantasies, I'm loving these physical fantasies. And then we wonder why women cheat late in the marriage with guys who pay them attention when the husband hadn't been and men cheat late in the marriage with young pretty girls when the wife isn't so young and pretty.
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Tuesday, February 24
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Lesson Learned
[journal]
Last week I ate at Kelsey's, and for the first time I had an allergic reaction. My eyes ballooned and my face lumped. It wasn't all bad. I gained an experience that now allows me to empathize with a group of people I couldn't empathesize with before. But what disturbed me was the waiter's reaction. There I was, eyes bugging out, face a red bulbous mess, asking if he could be so kind to provide me with some grape fruit juice (because someone told me it helps) and instead of caring about my well-being he seemed more worried that I wasn't going to pay for my meal. He became defensive and later talked about how Kelsey's uses all natural ingredients and so on. Dude, I just wanted to get better, not take everyone down with me. I felt that it was a sad commentary on the world.
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Sunday, February 22
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It Captures Your Soul
[journal]
Do you know people who really hate having their pictures taken? If you had a webpage and somehow unearthed a picture on the web, would you put it up? I know someone and I believe that I would put it up. If Tommy and Kevin were my high school best friends, Cliff would be my university best friend (along with you Dora). He's a dropje-lovin' clog-wearin' dutchman. Okay he doesn't actually wear clogs, but he owns them and that's enough. If you ever meet Cliff and he ever offers you a bite-sized candy, black in colour, don't eat it. It's called a dropje and it's a common dutch trick they like to play on hapless ignorant foreigners. In actuality they spend the bulk of their primary years developing an immunity to it, eating it in minute doses until it's bearable to digest, bearable to swallow. They offer you some and causally -- almost carelessly -- down three or four saying "Oh man that was good. Try one." The second you put that malignant "candy" in your mouth, they give a shrill laugh and dance around in their leaderhosen . Okay, at least that's what Cliff did, sort of. |
Saturday, February 21
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Busted
[journal]
Last summer, the day before the blackout, I got a tattoo on my shoulderblade. I was pretty sure my parents would never notice it because years back I had an eyebrow peircing and I was able to hide the fact for three weeks by favouring one side of my face to my parents. When they did notice they didn't say anything for another week assuming I was just fooling around with some fake peircing. Heck, a few weeks ago I walked around all night with an eye patch and they didn't mention a word. Today I wore a plain white t-shirt and either the back hung too low or the material was too thin but my mom caught a glimpse of colour. "What's that on your back?" "Oh. Nothing." "Okay." So I guess, like the eyebrow ring, it's on to the stage where they have to figure out it's real. As a side note, I've lost the hide the tattoo game to my my sister who has one on her shoulder. |
Friday, February 20
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Karma Kindness
[journal]That day when I wrote my LAST exam I saw someone I had seen around my residence frequently. In an uncharacteristic moment of friendliness, I said hello and mentioned that I had seen him around, and, in fact, he might be sharing my residence floor. We chit-chatted like only strangers can and then went about our examination. A few weeks later I saw him again, this time in the school hallways. He said hello and told me he had my hat, a hat that I had lost and thought that I would never see again. Lesson learned: say hello to people and you can get your hat back.
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Thursday, February 19
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My-Oh-Please
[journal]  So after advice from my number one fan and another person that goes to my school, I decided to check out protein drinks and bars to gain weight. It's called Myoplex and from the packinging (it featured creamy caramel and chunky nut clusters) you would think it's a little taste of heaven. I took a bite into the bar and suddenly I knew what protein tasted like, and believe me, it's not a good thing. Every bite convinced me that they condensed something originally the size of a car into the size of a candy bar. Each bite was thick as hell and packed full of good-for-you stuff. I got halfway through the bar when my throat screamed for liquid, which I didn't have, so I just tucked it in my pocket. When I finished it later I found it not as bad. You get used to things I guess, even concentrated protein.
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Tuesday, February 17
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Those were the days
[journal]
I was in my closet today looking at old junk when I came across my highschool yearbook. Reading over the stuff made me realize how little I connected with people. About 90% of the writing was generic Hope you had a good year, let's keep in touch. Even my best friends wrote weird things (maybe because they are weird). Take for example Kevin: Kevin has signed the Book. Have fun in the summer. Or Tommy: Joe, it's Master Pimp talking. Well, I don't have much to say and it's not like I can say have a nice summer. Anyway, it has been good knowing you this year and as usual, has been fun. I know that this is corny, but I don't know what to write. Let's have an orgie fest on the last day of school and suck some pussy! P.S. xxx I must say that you have made a difference in my life. You might not think so, but you did. I can't exactly explain how, but you did! Thanks! etc.... See? That's the kind of concrete difference I'm talking about!
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Monday, February 16
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The LAST test I wrote
[journal] Yesterday I wrote my first of three teacher qualifying tests: the Liberal Arts and Science Test. They tried to be as anal as they could about things. They didn't just make you have one piece of ID but two. They made you sign not in one place but three places. They had assigned rooms for you and assigned seats and assigned bathroom passes and they even took your god-damn thumb print. The worst thing was how they repeated over the speakers about 50 million times how if you brought your cell phone you may be disqualified.
The test itself was relatively easy. About 90% of the answers were provided in the questions themselves, you just had to find it. I thought that was a great idea because some people just don't have the same amount of background experience so it leveled the field. I finished an hour early and asked my room adjudicator if I handed in my paper if I was forced to immediately leave the building (and into the cold to wait for my friends). She said yes so I said I wasn't done yet. I spent the next 45 minutes doing various time killing things: - Wrote a poem: Roses are red -- Violets are blue -- I did well on this test -- I hope you did too
- Went to the toilet
- Counted how many words my essay was: 534
- Drew a graphical representation of the goals in my life
- Wrote Joe was here
I think the adjudicator saw that I was just doodling and got agitated so after 45 minutes I left and found out that my friends had finished early too and that we didn't have to wait outside. I still enjoyed doing all the things I did nevertheless. |
Sunday, February 15
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Karen's Cuts
[site update]Karen is fast with another hair cutting update HERE. |
Thursday, February 12
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Death: To Be or Not To Be
[commentary] Maybe it's because of my friend's suicide (found near the bottom of that page) or because my other friend has been writing about it on her site, but whatever the case is, death has been on my mind. The only conclusion I've come to is that all this heaven and hell, happiness and misery has nothing to do with death and everything to do with life. It's obvious that we make the world we live in sometimes heaven and sometimes hell. We create pain, pleasure, hate and love. No -- we lavishly lay on the pain, pleasure, hate and love. But these are all things created in this material world. We assume that things like that exist in our afterlife with no evidence to support. This physical-emotional vocabulary is a living construct only understood in the context of living. Death cannot be captured or described by our limited experience. It is similar to how some words in some languages simply cannot be translated, and I believe death can't be described or understood by someone who is alive.
But try to understand, I did, and my one idea stems from the fact that there seems to exist a cyclic universal. Things go up and then down and up and then down. People grow bigger then smaller then bigger. Things blossom and then fade then blossom. So from this I gathered that death, if it can be explained, is similar to prelife. Could you explain if you were happy before you were born? Could you say if you were in heaven or hell? No, you simply can't explain it, because it is so beyond our level of understanding, so out of explanation from our limited vocabulary. With prelife there is nothing physical; we had no arms or legs or noses or mouths. With prelife there was no emotion; we had no sensations or thoughts. We were simply not to be. Death, in my opinion, has got to be similar. Why would death be an extension of life when 1. there's that cyclic nature I talked about and 2. our prelife has been a lot longer than the anomaly our lives could ever be.
The reason why people want to believe about heaven and hell and happiness or misery is they would surely embrace the idea of even hell and misery over the idea of nothing. I mean, what the hell (pardon the pun) is nothing? To them, nothing scares them more than any emotional or physical torment from hell. But the truth is did prelife scare the shit out of you? People are only scared because they are thinking in their limited terms of life. When death actually comes their way and this nothing becomes clear, like a term in a foriegn language, they will just to be again.
I think Buddism and their state of nirvana or state of nothingness most resembles death. So does Nirvana = Happiness = Death?
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Monday, February 9
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New Haircuts
[site update] Head over to Karen's Cuts because we put up two of her new haircuts up. |
Sunday, February 8
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The Real She Bangs
[link]
First the internet made The Starwars Kid famous, now television in cooperation with the internet has made William Hung , a popstar more popular than Ricki Martin. American Idol, known for its cruel early auditions has ironically made a singing superstar our of someone they thought would never make it in the music industry. William Hung's short rendition of She Bangs has already been parodied by Saturday Night Live and mentioned about in daytime talk shows. He has spawned websites that have generated so much traffic that the sites have crashed (four million hits in four days). There are even radio remixes of him getting airtime. All of that cool stuff, including his performance can be found HERE . |
Saturday, February 7
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Blind Eye Flattery
[journal]
There's a family that we, the Vu's, call the perfect family. They have this fake leave it to beaver facade that doesn't fool me. If anything, it's families like that are probably the most problematic and need the most therapy. Their fantastic stage production is not the topic of the day, it's all about me again. So perfect family's mom was at our house when I returned from Buffalo. I hadn't seen her for months. When she saw me she exclaimed, "Oh, wow Joe you looked like you gained weight." It was such an obvious lie because I know I haven't, but I actually sort of believed it and it made me feel good. I just realized how easy it is to believe something we want to. Lie or not it was nice to hear so I think it's only fair that I look for someone I know who is trying to lose weight and say, "My, my you look like you've lost weight." Is it wrong to puff egos? |
Tuesday, February 3
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Oops, my boob!
[link] There are unmentionable cruelties going on around the world right now but what pisses Americans off is a boob, Janet Jackson's boob. Everyone cares, but no one should . Americans and North Americans in general are so sexually repressed that people here think masturbation is a sin. A breast is a natural (okay -- maybe not hers) god-given product. I'm positive if we covered up our right cheek all the time, pretty soon right cheeks would become sexually taboo. Read about the hullabaloo HERE. |
Sunday, February 1
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I Feel Like Human Tonight
[link]  | Anything between my teeth? |  | I like my own penis medium-rare. |  | You should come over I have
a nice place. | | Germany is facing a tough court decision. Does the state have say over the best interest of a person? Normally one would say no. A person knows what is in their best interest. But what if that interest was an agreement to be eaten? Some would say that wanting to be eaten is madness and that would void knowledge of best self-interest. But that brings up questions of sanity. In a recent bizarre case a man in Germany who posted an internet ad requesting for people who want to be eaten had many replies. He even had to turn down offers saying some were too fat or too something else. Whittling down his selection to one, the duo met up and videotaped the entire incident including the part where they flambeed one man's penis and ate it together. After the menschenfresser (man-eater) finished with the penis he let the other man bleed to death while he watched... a Disney movie. He came back afterwards, ate a lot more, then ziplocked the other parts to put in his freezer. Read the whole article HERE and HERE . | |
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