Monday, June 9
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After death [journal] I've been dreaming a lot lately. Dreams of all sorts. They are of exes, of death, of homosexuality, of children, of teaching, of love. But of all the dreams I only wish to expand on one: death.
It was a short dream, or at least what I remember of it. It began with my brother and I in a car (he's driving), going around the city. For one reason or another (I can't remember) we were speeding, likely getting away from someone or something. We entered an alleyway that suddenly lost its width. It became so narrow, so quickly that we squeezed all the way in before we realized it was impossible to do. It seemed as if, first, the side of the car imploded, second, I said the words "uh-oh", third, the car exploded. Suddenly---as smooth as hell---we're still in the car, only it's perfectly fine and so were we. I felt calm and I barely registered that the car just exploded. It felt like the accident was a dream (a dream in a dream), but my dream-self knew better and I turned to my brother and said, "We're dead aren't we?" He didn't say anything. His only answer was a solemn nod, slow and sure. I felt neither happy or unhappy. I knew I had died. I was not afraid. I felt at peace. There was no stress. Death was accepted.
I don't know if I emphasized it clearly enough. The moment of death was instant and painless. Sure, if you were stabbed in the chest and slowly dying, that would hurt, hurt like hell. What I mean is, the moment you switch to death is painless and more sudden than anything. A blink of an eye, lunge of a rattlesnake, strike of lightening, all don't compare. Also it takes a moment for you to realize you're dead. You' don't realize right of. There aren't death banners and lights to inform you. You feel the same, look the same and are at approximately the same place. The only clue is that faint reminder in your head that something happened, something deathly. It's like a whisper at first, but it gets clearer.
About form, I was myself. Not a burnt to a crisp form, but as I was moments before. I can't postulate from one experience of "death" but I believe you appear as you were. I mean it would be weird for me to appear 30 years older (how would I or my spirit self know what this is?) so why should I appear 20 years younger or in any other state. But I'm sure you could appear younger. I'm only guessing, but if your spirit yearns for a specific age I don't see why you couldn't appear as so.
Anyways that was my dream about death and has assured me that there is something after life, and it's not scary, not painful and---well---pretty normal.
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