Tuesday, May 27
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Nuts [journal] It didn't take living at home long for me to not like it. There were similarities living apart and living at home. Take for example not really working, or sleeping late and waking late. But somehow the similarities are twisted realities of each other. Somehow being at home with my family warps such good things (not really working and sleeping and waking late) into horrible horrible things. I have this huge fucking stress ball inside the center of my chest. I can literally feel it crushing me. I can't even take full breaths. Simply put: living at home is crushing me.
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Saturday, May 17
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Virtual Love [link] There's a poll at a video game site, ActionTrip, that asked if you could fall in love with a virtual person. I'm not talking about meeting a person over the internet. I'm talking about some advanced programming. Not even a robot. Some code someone wrote and graphics to go along with it. I thought in my head, OK, this is a video game site, so there are nerds, and some nerds will say they could fall in love---15% tops! I clicked to see the results and over 50% of the people who voted said they could fall in love with a virtual person. Fuck, I don't know if I could fall in love with a real person.
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Sometimes I lie [journal] Like the title says, sometimes I lie. Those book reviews will never be made. I'm just too lazy. It's true. Fuck, as I'm typing this, I'm feeling very guilty. The thing is, I could never just write up a half-assed review. It would have to be triple self edited and polished. It would take so much time and I don't know what purpose it would serve because I know in my head what I think of the book already and a review would be for others, yet there are no others because no one really knows about this site.
I sold, or will be selling my pair of Armani sunglasses today (the matrix like ones). I made 45 USD on it, which I'm quite pleased with. I'm making as much money staying home as I did working before. It's quite funny and sad at the same time.
Yesterday I played in another Blizzard, Warcraft tournament. If you recall, the last one I entered I didn't make it to the playoffs because I was 1 point off (I had eaten a steak in the middle of the preliminaries and ran out of time to play games). This time around we got 4th place in the preliminaries which qualified us for the top 16 team playoffs. We bravely fought until the semi-playoffs when we played this team who apparently knows how to get free resources in the game, free money. In other words, when we could make one troop to fight, they could make ten! Here's the finals bracket.
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Tuesday, May 13
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eBay has sucked me in [journal] My sister sold my palm IIIxe for me today on eBay. Now I'm hooked. I want to sell more and more and more. Anyway, I dug out some sunglasses and hope I can sell some of them =] Check it out here.
Besides my lastest addiction, I finished reading The Catcher in the Rye. It was every bit as good as I remembered. It really is! Now I'm giving Life of Pi a go, because people are telling me to read it. Okay, I'm not cool enough to have people tell me to read something, but I've heard it's a good book. One day soon, maybe tomorrow, I'll get my ass into gear and write my thoughts on the books I read and add it to the site.
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Saturday, May 10
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Two kinds of party [journal]
I went to two kinds of party recently. Well, one wasn't really a party. The first was to a fashion artsy party and the second was a highschool reunion sort of party.
The fashion one was at one stop west of Spadina station, rightside that row of about a million coffee shops. My sister worked with this one girl who had paintings being shown at the party so she and her coworkers were invited. Anyways, you could tell where we had to go like a mile away because there was a line spilling out of the place with all sorts of eccentric people milling around. There was a guy sporting the nerd look, a whole bunch of dirty long haired alternative rocker people, classy Ginas and urban-wear techno snobs. Once we got in there was nothing special. Dark lighting, two large glass empty showcases (I'll get to this later on) a bar and lots of seating. Her friends were close by already sitting and socializing. I decided that if I was going to enjoy myself I needed a drink so I got myself a gin and tonic.
Not so long after that models went into the glass cases and were doing poses, dumb cheese poses, only because they were good looking they actually got away with it. One girl did sexy temptress poses and the other one did pissed off model poses. The pissed off model girl reminded me a lot of this girl I worked with before at bar who was also a model. Now that girl was wacky. Always telling lies about seeing ghosts and whatnot. Anyways, Fashion Television was there filming them and interviewing people like my sister's friend and the designer of the clothes the models were wearing. She looked a lot like a porn star, but maybe that was the look she was going for. I guess the porn star look is in.
There's not a lot to say except there were a lot of phonies around passing out business cards and compliments. I suppose after a lot of drinks they started to get less phony though and maybe that's why the place thinned out so fast, being unphony scared them to leave. Karen's co-workers were nice though. There's one guy with my name but is called Joey instead. He's one of those guys who's always mellow and pumps out witty comments one after another. His girlfriend is this loquacious number who's just as funny as him but in a different way. My sister and I kept saying they are the cutest couple alive. They both independantly came over to shoot the breeze with me when I looked bored as hell. It was nice. There was this other worker of hers that had tattoos on her elbow and shoulders, I thought she was really cute and wanted to talk to her once that night at least. I did too and she didn't seem very much like a conversationalist at first but then at my second comment she joined in and it got better. Later that night it would have been pointless talking to her because she got drunk, the drunk where you slobber pizza chunks while eating pizza. Finally, I met this other girl who was a wild child, dancing and stripping. They took a picture of her taking off her pants and showing her undies. We talked about what song it would take for her to really dance (Micheal Jackson) and what Indian places are good to eat downtown. She gave me a card of place she thought was amazing and I told her that I would check it out and drop by to tell her about it. I don't know why I do that, because I'm the type of guy who now feels bound to do so. She gave me her business card, which she made from a hamburger helper box, in response to me saying I would tell her about what I thought of the place.
Well, this has been an extremely long post so I'll just say the other party was boring and we ate a hick restaurant called moose something or another and the manager was all friendly with me writing on a business card that I could get 15% off whenever I eat there.
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Friday, May 2
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I'm rich [journal] I went to work at the psychological rehabilitation place again. What this meant:
1. Finished reading my novel "Girlfriend in a Coma" for two hours.
2. Ate lunch for one hour (ate their cookies and drank their coffee too).
3. Looked out the window for 30 minutes.
4. Rested my head on my palm for 30 minutes.
5. Read some reports (so I would know how to write the reports) for 3 hours although it really only took me 1 hour. The rest of the time I looked through the words, read it upside down, coloured in the words darker with pencil and then erased the pencil.
It turned out that the one client I was going to ask questions to didn't show up. At the end of the day they apologized for having nothing for me to do and then wrote me a 200 dollars check (three hours last time, seven hours this time) with an apologetic expression.
The residing psychologist, a friendly new-age therapy type, talked to me today. He came into my room to grab his lunch, a vegetarian curry. He ate with his fingers and kept repeating how his wife did a great job, only he called her by name as if I knew her "Wow, ******* did a great job today. It tastes wonderful." He said this again and again, each time with a goofy grin and sucking his fingers clean of curry. The funny thing, being how intelligent he was (telling me the ingredient in curry that stains your fingers and how dill is good for your digestive tract) is he didn't know how to work the microwave. Apparently he doesn't own a microwave, a computer or a CD player. He asked if I was the computer expert. I'm completely a computer newbie, but compared to him, sure, I'm Joe Gates. Well, I hope I'm good for something, because when they start talking science and more specifically psychological terms I feel way out of my league and the heart-racing part of it is, they assume I know a lot of the jargon they use. I mean, everything they say does sound familiar, but my apathy at McMaster didn't allow any of it to stay with me. But is intelligence just knowing things, studying and learning things? Or are their other types of intelligence (and I'm not talking about EQ).
I won't be working again until their new biofeedback machine comes in (they are going to show me how to work it). It's like a giant jukebox that's hooked up to you via wires and electrodes. I guess I can fulfill my dream of becoming a disc-jockey after all, even if it will be, something along the lines of, the sounds of ocean waves, birds chirping and people singing "Cumbayah."
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