Wednesday, April 30
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No cigar [journal] I played in an online video game tournament today that had thousands of people. My partner and I got ranked 18 which meant we didn't qualify for the playoffs (you needed to be rank 16). We would have if I didn't eat a steak mid-way through the tourney (we ran out of time to get points), but I was hungry and video games, although important, gets put aside for stuffing a whole steak down my mouth in mere minutes so I can continue playing.
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Tuesday, April 29
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Home bitter home [journal]I packed last Saturday with tears welling in my eyes. It was a great two years of harmony and freedom. My housemate planned to pack the next day so he and his girlfriend helped me. To artficially create some sap I downloaded "it's closing time" by Semisonic and put it on repeat. We laughed initially, but it actually became semi-depressing. The goodbye was anti-clamatic because my brother and mom drove down and sat in the car waiting for me, so i gave him a hug, said goodbye, have a good trip and we have to keep in touch.
My first day at my job I found out why I got the job. My dad refers patients to the rehab place and I saw how much they get from each patient: 1700. The reports I'll be helping type up alone costs 1200 or so. It's funny because the psychologist makes 170 an hour--tons--but it's only a small part of his income. The main source is actually just the report, written document about what he plans to do.
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Wednesday, April 23
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Pictures are a no go [journal] I apologize for the lack of pictures, but 1. I couldn't upload them for some reason 2. I didn't try to that hard (because I had a second look at at them).
This Friday I'll be moving back home with my parents for the summer. They were so excited about the move that they came down to my place here and stole everything. Everything!They left me with literally my computer, a pair of socks and underwear. It's going to be hell living at home again, but I'm sure I'll let off some steam on these green-minted pages.
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Sunday, April 20
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The new do [journal] I got a hair cut by my siter. She's actually quite good and hopes to work at Vidal Sasoon someday. I'll post up the pictures soon, although I'm not photogenic, I'll put it up anyway because I know only a handful of people will see my horrible mug!
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Thursday, April 17
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Waiting too long [journal] Recently both my housemate and I have had to wait an extremely long amount of time for something, me for a chip I ordered online, him for his passport he needed to travel.
After four months and no chip, here is a piece of my anger in email form:
> the end of the week comes, nothing, no email. the end of next week is now
> coming...pleeeeeeeeease the truth. i've waited and waited and now it's the
> 4th month. did you guys forget me? cuz you clearly didn't forget my money
> since it was processed march 6th.
>
> joe
As for my housemate, after waiting at the passport office, he pulled out his laptop and began working on his essay that was due three weeks ago. To this, those around him gave scornful looks. Like he was one of those hoity-toity I'm-better-than-you gadget nerds. Do-do-do I'm gonna tap away on my expensive keyboard; What are you going to do? Read your 50 cent newspaper? *contemptuous laugh* I told him I would have gave the same looks. I hated those people who brought laptops to lectures, or was it jealousy?
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Tuesday, April 15
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Fashion on the web [links]
Looking at the 2003 webby awards, I came upon three very stylish fashion websites.
1. zoozoom
Hit the big red button or "enter full screen fashion" and prepare yourself for--well--exactly what they called it: full screen fashion. The screen will fill up with colourful photographs of beautiful women in beautiful clothing. It's as if they decided their goal was visual overload, and when reached, said, okay let's make it somehow more, you know, for the weed-addicts who visit our site.
2. japanese streets
If you're like me, anything Japanese is cool. They could take a pencil, break it in two and give it a new name, and I would buy that same pencil at twice the original cost (I'd pay triple if the name was in Kanji! Oh wow, Kanji).
3. hintmag
This site is more similar to the first than the second, but it's geared to those people who want something more than, "Wow ma, look at all the pretty colours." Inside you'll find plenty of articles to go along with all those pretty colours.
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16 hours of sleep [journal] From what I've heard, people who have 16 hours of sleep wake up groggy and disoriented. I, on the otherhand, woke up feeling like a million bucks. Last night after watching Boston Public I took a nap on the sofa. After an hour my housemate suggested I just go to bed if i can stay asleep the whole night. I told him that wouldn't be a problem, told him that I'm some sort of sleep monster!
My only explanation for my sometimes extraordinary amount of sleep relates to a book I once read about sleep. It pointed out that sleep deprivation isn't remedied after one good night's rest. Instead deprivation works accumulatively, ie. if you've been losing one hours sleep for every day of the year you owe your body 365 hours, and obviously that cannot be cured with one good nights sleep. When I'm sleeping these 16 hour nights (what, don't you have school, work or a life?) I'm paying off my debt from sleepless nights of playing Starcraft, a computer game.
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Sunday, April 13
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Two chapters are enough chapters [journal] My brother, the one I lent About a Boy, has given up on the book already. He complained that it was too much like the movie. Considering that the movie was based on the book, I expected that....
I found a link to a self-proclaimed Best Page In the Universe website. I found some of his commentary to be funny, but he believed his opinon was godsend. That, and his condescending demeanor negated any worth from his site. Reading his hatemail section, I wanted to punch him in the face. I think, accordingly, I will write some commentaries based on his commentaries, disecting every little word he says, making sure i'm extra nasty, and then in tribute call it, The Worst Page in the Universe.
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Saturday, April 12
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Site update [site] I've just updated the about me and archives sections. I hope people like it.
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Friday, April 11
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How you know you have a good site? [journal] I was suprised to find that my site was getting traffic, not much mind you, but a little. Being the investigative person that I am, I snooped around to find out how they found my site, and apparently the most popular way is through a search engine, like google or yahoo. Now you can judge the quality of a site by the terms people used to find your site; mine, of course, were the best anyone could hope for:
1. Children + Eating + Snot
2. Spit + or + Swallow
Yes, sadly, that's the truth. Two kinds of people are interested in what I have to say: The children-eating-snot-fetish-people and the spit-or-swallow nymphs! Yipee! (You, the person reading right now, of course do not fit into these two cateorgories... or do you? Uh-oh)
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About a book [journal]
 I just read About A Boy, and I must say it was one of those books that's hard to put down. I was going to quote a few lines that literally made me laugh out loud, but my brother nabbed the book from me when i went home this weekend.
I was planning a second read through the book when i realized, hey, if my brother is actually asking to read something, this is an extremely rare and potentially rewarding experience; let him read. Instead I went to Coles and bought a few other novels: The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (I've read this a long time ago), How to be Good by Nick Hornby and Girlfriend in a Coma by Douglas Coupland. The first, as I said, was something I read a long time ago and enjoyed so I wanted to have a second go at it. The second book I got because I really enjoyed Hornby's other novel, About a Boy. The last novel because 1. he's Canadian and 2. he was compared to Kurt Vonnegut, and I like Vonnegut.
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Thursday, April 10
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My parents [journal] Today my dad gave me this goofy toothless grin (four of his teeth were pulled recently). it was funny at first, but then i realized my father--once young, strong (okay never really that strong), and alert--was turning into a senior. my father has a semi-morbid sense of humour, so accordingly he joked about how he didn't have much longer to live. upon refelction, it's not very much of a joke is it? more like a statement said with nervous laughter, but not very funny whatsoever.
I've been living away from home for the past five years. in september i'm going to school in buffalo, but i decided it might be better to stay at home. schools in buffalo are expensive so the idea was to save money, but now i think i wanted to spend some time with my family, more than i have been.
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Monday, April 7
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Kids who aren't kids [journal] Even after months of working at an elementary school, i'm still shocked by what i experience.
Case 1: Steven & Ivan
Here are two brothers, grades 4 and 3, being raised by their aunt and uncle. now, it's not because their parents died, but because they weren't wanted (their other siblings, however, were wanted). now their poverty-stricken aunt took them in because it was either that or...well who knows. Ivan, the younger of the two, has no social skills because he wasn't talked to or loved. he clings to me like a child who hasn't been touched. when they get near me i smell--not to be mean--garbage and the smell of not showering (on occasion steven has worn the same underwear for 2 weeks). other things steven does: licks his shoe, grabs gummy bears that he finds lying on the floor and collects plastic garbage bags. steven is also a boy who i have to, unfortunately, teach long division. sometimes at the mention of homework or learning, the boys will squel and run out of the room. on a good note, i've made some progress with steven. he now doesn't eat the bottom of his styrofoam cup and doesn't pick at things in the garbage.
Case 2: Johnny
Johnny's parents still raise him and he lives a somewhat more "normal" life. the thing about johnny is that he hates steven. steven has a great heart and is a good kid. he acts the way he does because he doesn't know any better. but sometimes kids are mean. if a kid saw another kid eating their snot or their shoe, of course they would say something, and johnny is the type of kid who would. he's beaten up on other kids before, so why not steven? one time when we told johnny to control his anger he gave us a surprising response:
"don't you talk to me about controlling my anger. i've been going to therapy for three years about it so i don't need to hear about it from you too!"
okay, so let me get this straight. johnny is grade three and he's been going to therapy for three years....
Case 3: Andrew
We suspect that his mom is a stripper. guess that's not too bad, but i was shocked nevertheless.
Case 4: Sarah and Rebecca
We had to contact CAS (children's aid society) because of their behaviour and their dad's. rebecca is extremely flirtatious and feminine for her age, something correlated to sexual abuse. her sister on the otherhand is completely withdrawn, shy and spaced out, who clings to me as much as ivan. this is kind of a strange contrast for two sisters. the sisters talk to me about her father visits teensex dot com and college girls dot com and goes to strip club this and strip club that. her father, when picking them up, makes sexual comments to my co-workers about getting their phone number and looking at their ass and saying i thought i recognised that at the secret with santa breakfast. well, because of the things we told CAS, and CAS's own interview with the children and an older sibling, they were taken away from their father.
ugh there's more to say, but i'm tired writing about this shiat.
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Thursday, April 3
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Conversation with my housemate [journal]
housemate: you're going to laugh at me, but i have to thank you for that story about xxxxx and how she swallows.
me: why's that?
h: everytime she starts bitching at me i just laugh because i think about what you said.
m: what did i say exactly?
h: yo man, like she swallows! only like 5 per cent of girls swallow! holy.
m: shut up, i actually said 5 per cent. i gave you that specific number?
h: yah, i remember, because at the time i was thinking, shit, joe knows his stats.
Off the couch and on the internet i went to investigate how many women spit or swallow. i was unable to find a definitive scientific survey (yah like the government would give a grant to someone to find this stuff out), but the surveys i did find recorded 10-15% of women swallow. now, i found that hard to swallow! *ashamed at his own joke*
a few interesting facts:
- eating fish (alkaline based) will give your seaman a fishy taste (surprise!)
- eating meats (alkaline based) will give your seaman a buttery or fishy taste.
- some dairy products that contain high levels of bacteria (like yogurt) will produce the foulest tasting seaman.
- non-acidic fruits, sweets and alcohol may give the fluids a pleasant, sugary flavour, although this varies from person to person.
want to know more? go here.
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Writing well [journal] It happens often: sitting on the bus going to work i think of something grand to write about. usually it's an idea for a novel. my heart begins to race as the idea grows in complexity and originality. chapter by chapter, point by point my head blares with creative fireworks. when i finally get home, plop myself in front of a computer screen and hover my fingers over the keyboard, i'm at a loss; i can't come up with anything; i'm catatonic schizophrenic boy.
Where do my ideas go? why can i not get my ideas across? is it just a lack of writing skills or experience?
Tonight i tried working on a story floating in the recesses of my head for a long time, but as i said, i sat before my screen at a loss. the story takes place in the future when today's societal problems are more visible: parents with no parenting skills. they replace time, nurture and patience with pills; the gullible majority are happy and the intelligent minority are apathetic. Choices fill the world, but the option of a better life is near impossible, to call it a choice is more joke than fact--oh and, of course, i'll throw in some sex, love, violence and betrayal.
After my ego-beatdown i browsed the internet for some help, and I came across a few sites with good advice on writing. the problem with me is that i'll forget it by tomorrow. how sad!
Update: predicting my forgetfulness i then decided to look around for some good blog sites to read. maybe their skill will rub off on me, or maybe i've just found something else to do at 4 a.m. in the morning. yipee!
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Tuesday, April 1
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A glimpse into the future [journal]
I had trouble trying to teach a student long division today. i just couldn't get through to him that it was as easy as mulitplication, something he's mastered. i'm sure he knew the answers, but he just didn't know he had it. this kid, mickey, is the star of my group for multiplication, but he couldn't do the easiest of division--even when i put it in terms of multiplication. kids get easily frustrated and when they get a few questions wrong, they feel they can't ever do it or it's impossible for them to learn.
I guess one of the things they'll teach me at teacher's college is effective methods to help boosts a child's self-esteem; so they can believe in themselves. i'm sure my yelling and threatening to tell his parents didn't help him want to learn...
Besides that, my ever-caring housemate has been scaring the shit out of me with this SARS thing. he keeps on telling me to ask my dad about it, sending me emails on how i fit ALL the criteria, and advising me not to go home to toronto too much (because there's been many cases there). his gratuitious worrying about me has stirred up some distress in myself, but in the bit-sized form of about five minutes and it'll start up again the next time he brings it up.
The last bit of news is i finally polished up my newspaper i've been working on with the kids. every friday is clubs day and i'm head of the newspaper club. the kids write the articles, and i edit and layout the articles. it's so tough forcing the kids to write when these were the types of kids who dislike writing. my first term as newspaper head was great because the students in my group chose to be there. however, this term, everyone had to be in a group they hadn't been in before so i got children who had no where to go because the "fun" groups were taken and they couldn't rejoin their first group. the paper turned out quite well in the end and i was surprised with a great short story by one girl who wrote so well i almost thought she might have lifted it from somewhere (i even did a google search on some of her sentences!).
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